I've lost my tongue

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My mouth is dry, my throat crackles and I have no palate. Still.

Cooking is crap. I feel unispired and can barely taste anything that lands on my tongue. So heaven knows what I am subjecting Mr Stickyfingers to when I cook.


Last night I ate some spicy fried chicken. It may as well have been a wedge of cardboard, but for the chilli that I could still feel on my tongue. I could not taste it.


I could conceivably live on frozen convenience foods in this current state.


Now I know what it is like to be a 'non taster'. Now I understand why there are people who just consider food to be fuel and are not bothered much about eating. Now I see why some people can be really skinny. Without flavours to look forward to, I actually don't feel like eating.


I hear myself saying, 'I don't feel like eating, but I know I must'. I can't believe that I have been saying it, but this is what I'm reduced to.


Yes, I have to eat. My hormones are screwed and my body makes too much insulin. So I have to elevate my glucose levels to prevent myself from falling into a coma. I can only do this by grazing on slow burning/low GI carbs and protein, and exercise, exercise, exercise - not that it will make me slim, but it stops me from becoming morbidly obese.


I'm so frustrated. Perhaps were I a certain chef, a torrent of expletives would follow.


The fall back position when your tastebuds are crippled is fast food, or perhaps in my case, fast and classic, yet healthy and ethical. I know that my palate is not so necessary to make the basics, so when Mr Stickyfingers completed his exhausting 14km charity run on Sunday - Run For The Kids - I shucked Smoky Bay oysters and prepared some eggs on toast.


It was not extraordinary, but I was assured it tasted good.





Smoky Bay is in South Australia. The sweet tasting oysters are one of my favourites.


The eggs are the Traditionally raised ones from Swampy Marsh as usual, down Warrnambool way. I scrambled them with Smoked trout from Butts of Albury and tossed in some Meredith Goats cheese with dill and home grown chives. The bread is from the wood ovens of The Convent bakery in Abbotsford and we slurped down some cheap French bubbles, which also went into the Beurre Blanc that I sloshed over the eggs and some fresh sorrel. Fast and fresh.

scrambles with Butt's bacon & a piece of roasted stuffed tomato

Scrambled eggs
Some things to remember:

Of the two proteins that make up eggs, the white cooks fastest. For room temperature eggs that means that the whites firm up around the fifty degree centigrade mark. So if you want gooey scrambles you need to cook them over a very low heat.

For extra creamy, smooth eggs, you need to add almost as much cream by volume as the eggs. This also helps to stop the eggs from coagulating too fast.

Do not overload your pan. You are better off making two portions at a time than to try to feed the whole family out of the one serve.

To scramble eggs, melt a generous amount of butter in a medium sized pan over low heat and then add the eggs, loosely mixed.

As the edges start to firm up use a spatula to lift them back into the centre of the pan, continuing until your eggs are close to the desired consistency. This way you are also pulling the whites through the yolks.

Do not be tempted to turn up the heat.

If adding extras like smoked trout & goats cheese as I have, put them in next, and gently distribute through your eggs.

Remove from the stove before the mix is completely firm. The eggs will continue to cook a little longer off the heat.